


A Party Town

by RavenHeart13



Category: Black Mirror (TV), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: 1980s, Alternate Universe - Black Mirror Episode: s03e04 San Junipero, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Male Character, Dancing, Gay Male Character, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, One Shot, Romance, Science Fiction, Strangers to Lovers, not beta read we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22886056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenHeart13/pseuds/RavenHeart13
Summary: Namjoon does not know what he wants when he visits San Junipero, but what he gets is far more than he could ever imagine.BTS x San Junipero (Black Mirror) AU
Relationships: Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 21





	A Party Town

San Junipero is a party town. 

That's what they call it. That's what they all call it, and you can ask anyone you like. They'll tell you that San Junipero is a party town, and if you ask them _why_ they came here, that will be the answer. They come from all over. Their stories are all a little different, but their answers stay the same. It's a party town. 

San Junipero lives up to its reputation with adventure and flair. There's no better year for a party than 1987, with its neon lights and music streaming from every club's window. The lights are not quite strong enough to black out the stars. Not that it matters. Most people in San Junipero can't bother to look up. 

Kim Namjoon does not look up. He does not need to, not with all of San Junipero sprawled out for him to discover. He walks along sidewalks with his hands stuffed in his denim pockets. His glasses slide down the bridge of his nose as he gazes through a shop window. The televisions on display have the news station on, something about what Ronald Reagan did. Namjoon walks past bars and clubs, past a theater or two-but no hotels. No one sleeps in San Junipero. 

Across the street, a man stomps along the sidewalk, his platform boots hitting the ground with a slightly audible _thud_. His purple leather jacket shines against the club's lights. Another man calls after him, but he stares ahead determinedly. 

"Seokjin, listen..."

He keeps walking.

"Jin-"

"I'm still walking, Yoongi. And don't call me 'Jin'."

They reach the front of a club. "Tucker's" is plastered on the front in bright electric blue. The man-Seokjin-walks towards the bright entryway. Namjoon watches on in interest. 

"We've only got a couple hours left, you know. Let's use it."

"I am using it."

Seokjin walks through the door with Yoongi tailing close behind him. 

Namjoon looks around, turns both ways without crossing the street, then makes his way to Tucker's. He's never been comfortable with parties. But here...there was no better place to start. 

Tucker's is a cavern. There's barely room to breathe, let alone shuffle through the crowds. It's a bar that attracts all walks of life. Boys in varsity jackets dance close to girls with black dyed hair and globs of eyeliner. Everyone is partying and having a good time. If they're not, they smile anyway. There's no way you can't in a place like this. 

Namjoon peers through the crowd. If Seokjin and Yoongi are around, there's no chance of finding them in this. Namjoon sighes. He's already here, so he may as well make use of it. He pushes past the dancefloor until he reaches the outer corner, where an array of arcade games are open for use. All things considered, it certainly is not the worst way to spend the night on the town. 

It takes only a moment of him playing before a young woman approaches him. She's alone, like him, with short brown hair and glasses that take up too much of her face. 

"You're good at this," she tells him. 

He nods his head in acknowledgment. "Thanks. I've played it."

She hesitates. "It's uh, got different endings. You know, depending on if you're one or two players."

"Hmm."

"First game to do that, actually."

"Dammit-!" Namjoon loses his last life. He turns to the racing game next to him while the woman watches on in interest. She pulls a quarter out of her pocket. 

"Do you wanna-?"

Namjoon stares down at the game. A red car barrels down the virtual highway. It picks up speed until it spins out of control, tumbling in a wave of pixelated dust and crashing to the ground. Namjoon feels his hands tremble as he watches the screen. He tears his eyes away. 

"Uh, no, um-no thank you. Sorry, it's not you, I just..." he gestures about. "I just sort of want to get my bearings."

"Alright...see you around?"

Namjoon strides away before he can hear her. Back through the crowds he goes. He grabs a simple soda on his way to a booth. The people on the dancefloor all look so _comfortable._ They smile and laugh with each other without thinking twice. Namjoon wonders if they were like that before they traveled to town. Perhaps San Junipero has a way of changing people. 

His thoughts are interrupted by a man plopping himself down next to him. He's so close, close enough to catch a faint whiff of his cologne. The man adjusts his purple jacket and glances around warily. Namjoon recognizes him from before-Seokjin. 

"Go along with whatever I say," he murmurs. 

"I, uh...sorry?"

Seokjin turns to face him. "Whatever I say, just go along with it."

Yoongi walks up to the table, slightly out of breath. He narrows his eyes and opens his mouth to speak. 

"Yoongi, you're just pestering me now." Seokjin holds up a hand to silence him. "Do I have to red light you?"

He taps his wrist watch impatiently. "Two hours and thirty five-there's not much time left."

"Yoongi-"

"Last week, we had the most amazing-"

"Last week was last week." Then he gestures at Namjoon. "And I need to talk to my friend now, okay? Haven't seen him in awhile."

Seokjin throws and arm around Namjoon's shoulders. He tenses in surprise at the sudden touch, but he does not mind. Seokjin is warm. 

"He doesn't-"

"Yoongi, he's sick. Like, six months to live, sick."

"Five, actually," Namjoon chimes in.

Seokjin grins, impressed. Namjoon can swear he sees him wink. But if he did, it's gone quick, for he resumes his serious expression with Yoongi. 

"I need to catch up with him. Alone."

Yoongi pauses. He opens his mouth to speak again, but thinks better of it. 

"Fine, okay. Sorry to hear about your...five months."

"That's alright."

"Seokjin-see you around?"

"I guess."

Namjoon and Seokjin watch him leave. They're silent for a moment, with the loud thump of music to fill the space. 

"Sorry for killing you," Seokjin finally says. "The whole six months to live thing. Sorry-five. Five was a nice touch." He giggles. It is a light sound, almost musical. He sticks out his hand. "Seokjin."

He shakes it. "Namjoon."

"Namjoon...I like it." Seokjin nods in the direction of Yoongi. He's drinking alone in a booth, barely tapping his foot along to the beat. "He's not a bad guy, you know. I sort of feel bad. Met him at The Quagmire, so..."

"What's the Quagmire?"

Seokjin raises his eyebrows. "If you don't already know what The Quagmire is, you probably don't want to know."

Namjoon adjusts his glasses self consciously. It's glaringly obvious he's new here. He figures Seokjin will get bored of him. Seokjin's a party goer, after all, not some kind of tour guide. Seokjin looks down at Namjoon's empty glass, then back up at him. 

"You want another one?"

"Oh, um, I'm not sure-"

"Yeah you do. Come on."

He stands up and walks from the table, but not before making sure Namjoon followed. 

Namjoon was still unsure of what he came to San Junipero for. But he knew he didn't come to drink alone. 

"Do you want me to carry you?" Seokjin teases. 

He grins in reply. San Junipero has people like Seokjin. How bad can it be?

Most people at Tucker's do not sit down at the bar to drink. They drink on the dance floor, glass in one hand and another around a partner's waist. It's easy for the two of them to find empty seats. 

Seokjin orders for them. "Jack and coke, times two."

"Oh, mine was just coke..."

" _Times two._ "

Namjoon watches the bartender prepare their drinks. He can feel Seokjin's gaze boring into him. He feels warm, and acutely aware of every little movement he makes. 

He clears his throat. "What are you doing?"

"I'm..." Seokjin places a hand under his chin. "Regarding you."

"Feels more like I'm being analyzed."

"Shh, let me do my regarding. It's very important." He closes his eyes in mock concentration. "Alright. Why the glasses?"

Namjoon flushes bright pink. He reaches to remove them. 

"I mean, don't get me wrong. I like them. They totally work on you, but do you _need_ them? I mean, do you-"

"Yeah, the lenses don't do anything."

"Knew it!" He snaps his fingers. 

"I wore glasses back in school," Namjoon explains. "They're sort of a comfort thing now."

He nods knowingly. "Old times sake, I got it. I figured they were a kind of fashion statement-"

"Really?"

"-But the rest of your outfit is...not."

Namjoon looks down at himself, embarrassed. He knows people around here take their partying seriously, but he was sure a polo shirt and jeans were good enough. It's most of what he owns, after all.

"Oh, I don't mean anything by it. It's refreshing. I mean, look around." He jerks his head in the direction of the floor. "People try so hard to look how they think they should. They probably just saw it in some movie."

Seokjin reaches over and touches the side of his glasses. It's a small gesture. And so intimate for someone he's just met. Namjoon hopes he can't see how red his face is.

"But I like these. They're you. I'll see them and think, 'that's Namjoon'."

"To be honest, I think I just wear them for something to hide behind," Namjoon mumbles. 

"Hiding behind something transparent? Huh."

Seokjin stops his regarding when the drinks are brought to the table. Seokjin gulps it down with ease. Namjoon examines his glass, trying to figure out just how badly his throat will burn. Well, no use in holding it off. Namjoon raises the drink to his lips-

And coughs his lungs out. 

"You've never tasted this before?"

Namjoon takes a shaky breath and wipes the tears from his eyes. "No. I-I just haven't had it in awhile. It's good, I swear." He takes another sip to emphasize his point. This sip, thank goodness, does not burn as badly. 

Seokjin is back to regarding him. He eyes Namjoon over his glass while he taps his foot to the music's beat. 

"You don't live here, do you?"

"No, but-"

"A tourist?"

Namjoon hesitates. 

"We'll go with tourist. So you're new here?"

"First night," he replies. 

"First night? Well then," he clinks his glass against Namjoon's. "You've got a lot to see."

The song changes. It's light, with a fast and strong beat. Seokjin obviously knows it well. He laughs and claps along with the song. 

"Oh my god! We _have_ to dance to this!"

Namjoon looks at him incredulously. "With each other?"

He stands up and throws back the rest of his drink. 

"Yup!"

Namjoon eyes the dance floor, with all its flashy outfits and fast moving people. Then he looks at himself. 

"I don't...dance."

Seokjin takes his hand and pulls him to the floor. This is too much. Too fast. He couldn't, _they_ couldn't-

"Seokjin, I can't."

"My ass you can't, c'mon."

"I'll just look stupid, and-"

"Follow my lead."

Seokjin can dance. Namjoon cannot. Seokjin twirls about and shrugs his shoulders to the beat, smiling all the while. Namjoon attempts to mimic it, but he can barely shuffle his feet. He knows he'll just look stupid, anyway. Not to mention how he _knows_ people are staring. 

But Seokjin was not giving up on him yet. "Copy me!" He yells over the music. 

He sways this way and that. When you dance, you let the music take you wherever it desired. In their case, it led Seokjin to take Namjoon's hand in his and twirl him around. That was all it took. Suddenly, Namjoon's smile matches his. It's uncertain, but it's true. He moves with Seokjin, Seokjin moves with him. They're dancing _together._

Seokjin ups his game. His dance is there to put on a show. Flamboyant, and just a little provocative. The crowd gets into it and cheers for him. He soaks up the attention. 

It's all too much for Namjoon. There's no doubt that everyone is watching him now, and there's no way he can keep up with Seokjin. He looks at him regretfully, then slips away while he's lost in the moment. 

He should have known this would happen. Nothing like that ever lasts for Namjoon. Still, Seokjin made his night the closest to perfect it could ever be. He wishes he can see him one last time. To thank him. 

It's raining outside the bar, but Namjoon can't be bothered to care. He leans up against the brick wall of the alleyway and closes his eyes, head tilted back. He lets the rain wash over him. Lets it wash away his shame and everything else that went with it. 

The rain has little time to do its job. Seokjin pokes his head out of the back door. He walks over and sits beside Namjoon on a wooden box.

"Hey you. Why'd you run off like that?"

"Sorry. I-I said I'm not much of a dancer."

"No shit," he laughs. "Like a deer in headlights back there."

Namjoon moves to walk away. 

"I'm kidding."

He sends him a look. 

"Half kidding. Hey, I'm sorry I pushed you into it. Saturday night only happens once a week. I get impatient."

Namjoon sits down next to him with a sigh. 

"It's not that. Everyone was... _looking_."

Seokjin blinks. "Looking?"

"You know, two guys, dancing..."

"That's it? People aren't as uptight as they used to be. And this is a party town, so no one's judging." Then he smirks. "If they were staring, it's because _I've_ got the moves."

He poses and flips his hair. It gets a laugh out of Namjoon, which makes him smile more. 

"You're so dramatic," he chuckles. 

"It's a gift."

Namjoon looks up. No one in San Junipero looks to the stars much. It's a shame. Despite the storm, the stars shine brighter here than anywhere else. 

"I've never been on a dance floor before," Namjoon admits. 

"Hold on, never? As in the whole time you've been alive, never?"

"Never."

"Wow. That's some sheltered existence you've got there."

Namjoon shrugs. "I'm used to it. My family never lets me do _anything._ "

"Jeez. Well, no one knows about _half_ the shit I get up to," he jokes. Then his expression turns to concern. "With your folks, it's from a place of love, right? They worry."

"They don't worry. Just the concept of me enjoying myself-that would blow their minds."

Namjoon's eyes are still on the stars. Seokjin's are on Namjoon. He slides in a little closer to him. 

"What would you want to do? That you've never done?"

"Oh...so many things."

And suddenly Namjoon's eyes are on Seokjin and the stars become dull in comparison.

"San Junipero is a party town. All up for grabs." He inches closer still. There's barely any space between them. "Two hours until midnight."

Namjoon is sure his heart will beat out of his chest. "That's not long."

Seokjin brushes a strand of hair from Namjoon's eyes. He leans in, his voice barely a whisper. 

"Why waste time sitting here?"

He trails his hand down Namjoon's waist and onto his thigh. Namjoon sighes into his ear, and oh, there is no better sound...well, for now, anyway. 

And then he stands up. Namjoon's face is burning red. He looks down at Seokjin apologetically. 

"I-uh-I-look-"

Seokjin raises a hand to try and calm him. "It's okay."

"No, I mean-" he closes his eyes and frowns, clearly at odds with himself. "Dammit. Look, you-you seem-"

"Namjoon, really, it's okay."

"Listen, I-I'm engaged. I have a fiance."

A pause. "At your age?"

"Yeah. I know, it's weird."

"I'll say."

"She's great. She's nice."

"Great, nice..."

"She _is_ really great."

Seokjin nods. "I, uh. I can tell."

"Grace, she's called Grace."

"And is Grace here?"

"No, no, she's...somewhere else."

"Alright." Another pause. "So, you want to go to bed with me? We can be back at my place in a snap."

Namjoon fixes his glasses. They're sliding down his nose from the rainwater and sweat. "I've never done anything like that."

Seokjin grins knowingly. "All the more reason..."

He looks at Seokjin, with his hair ruffled just so, his playful eyes and understanding smile. There are so many reasons to say yes. And so many more to say no. 

"I...you're nice. But I can't."

He shrugs. "Okay."

"I just can't. I-"

"Namjoon. I understand."

"I have to go."

"In this rain?"

Namjoon holds out his hand. "It's been great meeting you."

He shakes it, amused. "Likewise."

Namjoon turns on his heel and walks down the alleyway. His hands are balled into fists in his pocket. 

"Okay. Alright." He mutters to himself. "Okay. Shit. _Shit._ "

He sees the stars, still shining like before. He makes a choice. Namjoon turns to look behind. 

Seokjin is gone. 

Namjoon knows deep down it was never really going to happen. He does not know why it hurts so much."

He walks on until the neon lights are far behind him. 

_One Week Later_

Namjoon examines himself in the mirror. He's going out again. This time, he'll do it in style. He removes his glasses and places them on the dresser. New look, new him. 

Slight problem-he can't find a new look. Everything he tries on is too cute, too sexy, to sophisticated. They're all nice, but none of them feel right. A new him has to be a him that fits. 

He recognizes defeat and puts his glasses back on. His usual look is fine, he supposes, but he adds a denim jacket just for something new. It's fresh enough to feel right. He can work with this. He's ready. 

Across San Junipero, Seokjin climbs into his red Jeep. He cranks up the stereo and slams his foot on the gas. The road by the ocean is open and free, and it makes Seokjin feel free along with it. 

Freedom ends when he parks his car in town and finds Yoongi awaiting him. 

"Yoongi, seriously?"

He slams the door and makes his way to the bar, Yoongi hot on his trail. 

"Listen, okay, I know-"

"I'm red lighting you. For real."

"No! Don't do that."

"Then cut it out," he snaps. 

"Just hear me out-"

"How many people do you think there are in San Junipero? Hundreds? Thousands?"

"I don't care-"

"I'm saying there are plenty of others for you, Yoongi. People you can actually settle down with."

Yoongi sighes, but it comes out as more of a growl. "The locals, they're like dead people."

Just then, a group of partygoers walk past them. One woman lets out a cheer. 

"Pretty lively for dead people," Seokjin comments.

"I don't want some boring romance. Like, Jesus, put us in the retirement home, deal-"

"Well, if you want someone to fuck, you have options. Hang out at the Quagmire again."

"It's not just sex-"

"It was just sex-"

"The two of us made a connection, and-"

"Yoongi." Seokjin looks him dead in the eyes. "I promise you. It was just sex."

"But..."

"I'm done with getting attached. I went down that road. For a long time, and it's-I can't do that again. No roots."

"Jin..."

"I told you not to call me that." Seokjin gazes at him with sympathy. He places a hand on his cheek. "We had fun. I'm sorry."

Seokjin turns away and walks to the bar. 

"Enjoy the town, for god's sake!" He calls over his shoulder.

Tucker's is the same place no matter when you visit, with its neon lights, fast paced music, and packed dance floor. For Namjoon, it's different now. Seokjin is there, but he is not dancing with him. Seokjin's dancing in the crowd, swaying to the music. He's not lost in it like he was before. 

He looks up from his dancing and sees Namjoon. They lock eyes, but make no moves towards each other. Seokjin walks off the floor and into the bathroom. Namjoon follows. 

Seokjin does not look from the mirror when he walks in behind him. He's carefully applying his eyeliner. He does his best to act like Namjoon is just part of the decor. It's up to him to make the first move. 

"I...don't know how to do this."

"Do what?" Seokjin asks in mock innocence, his attention still fixed on the mirror. 

"I don't-I can't-I don't know how to...."

Seokjin lets their eyes meet. 

"Can you make this easy for me?"

Seokjin does not need to tell him anything. But Namjoon needs to know he can hear him. That any of this matters. 

So Seokjin reaches out.

He cups a hand around Namjoon's cheek. It is a gentle, deliberate gesture, one he's done a thousand times before. Hell, he reached out to someone else just before walking into Tucker's. But this is different. It's a beginning. 

"Do you want to get in my car?" 

He nods. 

"Then let's do it."

They leave Tucker's the same way they did the last night, out through the fire escape and into the alleyway. Seokjin's Jeep is parked by the side of the bar. He hope in with ease. Namjoon hesitates. 

"Do I have to lift you up and put you in?" Seokjin teases. 

Namjoon shakes his fear away and climbs in. He's with Seokjin. How terrifying can it be?

He slams on the gas, a trail of dust in their wake as they speed past the town and onto the seaside road. One of Seokjin's hands is on the wheel, the other stuck out the window as he breathes in the ocean air. He notices Namjoon gripping the edge of his seat like his life depends on it. 

"Relax," he assures him. "What's the worst that can happen?"

Namjoon can easily imagine the worst case scenario, but he thinks it best not to say it. 

"How long have you been here?" He asks Seokjin. 

"Sorry?"

"How long have you been in San Junipero?"

"Ah..." He considers the question. "Couple months, I guess. Plan is to stay long enough to enjoy myself. I'm a tourist, like you."

Namjoon gazes out the window. "Yeah...guess I am."

Seokjin takes his eyes off the road to regard him. "Hey, you alright?"

"I'm fine."

What can you say at a time like this? Seokjin wants to make it easy for Namjoon, but the truth is, there's only so much he can do. 

"Seokjin-!"

An incoming car heads straight for them, headlights glaring. 

"Shit!" 

Seokjin tugs the wheel. They go flying off the road and tumbling into a sandy bank. The car screeches to a halt as they catch their breath. Namjoon's knuckles are white as he grips the seat for dear life. He breathes rapidly, like he'll run out of air if he goes any slower. His glasses are askew. 

Seokjin catches his breath. Then he laughs. 

"I'm sorry, but-" he interrupts himself with a giggle. "Man, your face!"

Namjoon tries to laugh along. "That was...yeah."

"You good?" 

"I'm good."

He starts the engine. Namjoon takes his shaking hands off the seat and places them on his lap. 

They reach Seokjin's house in only a few minutes. It's a large white house that overlooks the sea. The inside is just as lovely, though rather empty. There are few signs of living. No tapes by the television, no pots and pans in the sink. The most to show that it belongs to anyone is the framed photo of a young woman on the kitchen table. She smiles at the camera underneath a "Happy Birthday" banner. 

Namjoon points at the photo. "Is that your mom?"

Seokjin does not answer. He looks down at the photograph with a kind of regret, then grabs onto Namjoon's hand. He pulls him close, cups Namjoon's face with his other free hand. 

He kisses him. 

It's a slow kiss. Uncertain. Seokjin allows Namjoon to set the pace. He does not return the kiss at first. Then he's kissing him back, deep and longing. Seokjin's lips, Seokjin's forehead, Seokjin's neck. _Seokjin._

The neon lights of San Junipero are vibrant, but there is no greater electricity than this. Than them. They stumble onto the bed, lost in each other. Seokjin climbs on top of Namjoon and slips his hands beneath his shirt while Namjoon works at the zipper of his jeans. Seokjin is the one to hesitate this time. He should say something, anything-

"Namjoon-"

Namjoon cuts him off with a kiss. He gazes up at him, and Seokjin forgets how to breathe. 

"You have to show me."

Seokjin answers with a kiss. His hands reach for the hem of Namjoon's shirt...

*********

It is dark outside. The only sound comes from waves crashing onto the shore. Namjoon is breathless, his hair a mess. His hand entwined in Seokjin's. 

Seokjin breaks the silence. "You've never slept with a man before?" He turns his head to him and strokes his hair. "I mean, that's not a critique. It was fucking awesome."

Namjoon smiles at this. "Never with a man." He pauses. "Never with anyone."

"No one? Ever? Not in town, or-"

He shakes his head. "No one, no where." He plants a quick kiss on a surprised Seokjin's forehead. "Guess you deflowered me."

Seokjin laughs. God, Namjoon could drown in his laugh. "Deflowered you? What is this, Victorian England? My good sir?"

"Shut up," Namjoon chuckles. 

"But you've had relationships?"

"Nope..."

"Hello? You've got a fiance?"

Namjoon falters. "It's-that's...complicated."

"I can tell." 

Another silence, until Namjoon asks: "When did you know? That you like men?"

"I like women too." He raises his fist jokingly. "Equal rights!"

"Okay, but when did you know? Did you always know?"

It's the most Seokjin's ever talked with someone he spent the night with in San Junipero. If anyone else tried to ask him this sort of thing, he knew he'd turn them away. Tell them he was too tired to talk about that sort of thing, or that San Junipero wasn't the place for serious conversation. Namjoon is different. He does not know why-but he is. 

"I...was married to a woman. For a very long time." He takes a breath. Namjoon does not let go of his hand. "I always 'knew', I mean, I'd be attracted to other guys. Co-workers, friends, a waiter or two." He laughs at the memory. "There were crushes. God, there were crushes."

Namjoon watches his expression harden. His eyes drift away to somewhere else, somewhere Namjoon cannot reach. 

"Never acted on it. Not until I came here. Never did anything. I was in love with her. I really was in love with her.

"But she chose not to stick around."

A tear glistens in Seokjin's eyes. Namjoon reaches for the right words to say. All he can do now is hold on. 

"So now it's just me. And I'm just passing through. And before I leave, I'm going to have a good time."

Seokjin repeats it, more to himself than to Namjoon. "I'll have a good time."

Namjoon leans over and kisses him. It's nothing like the ones they shared before, with its gentle innocence. Seokjin turns away from the intimacy of it all. His eyes meet the bedside table's clock. 

"One minute until midnight."

"Then let's just lie here."

Seokjin holds his hand close. Like Namjoon will disappear if he lets go. 

"I'd like that very much."

_One Week Later_

Namjon does not need to wander San Junipero anymore. He knows exactly where he's going. Down the street, past the radio shop and movie theaters, and into Tucker's. Perhaps this time he can work up the courage to dance, bystanders be damned. Practice makes perfect, and he has someone wonderful to practice with now.

Except Seokjin is not there. 

He's not by the bar, on the dance floor, anywhere. Namjoon walks up to the bar. 

"Have you seen Seokjin?!" He shouts at the bartender over the music. 

"Who?!"

"Seokjin!"

"Haven't seen him all night."

He scans the crowd. If Seokjin was there, he'd know for sure. 

"You could try The Quagmire," the bartender suggests. 

"What's that?"

His answer is all in the look he gives Namjoon over a glass. Still, if there's any chance at all he's there, Namjoon has to try. It's not like Seokjin vanished into thin air. Right?

The Quagmire is quite literally a hole in the wall establishment. If San Junipero is a kingdom, then The Quagmire is its mired darkened outskirts. The place so far from the light that no man dares to trek it. But if one has the courage (liquid or otherwise) to venture beyond, they can find all the unusual thrills that the mainland of San Junipero lacks. 

Namjoon knows he does not truly belong in San Junipero, but at least Tucker's is welcoming. He is so jarringly out of place at The Quagmire that he shrinks into himself. Head down, hand in his pockets. Heavy rock music blares through shattered windows. Leather clad men swing punches in batting cages. A man and woman aggressively make out against a bar table until the woman catches his attention. She raises a thin black eyebrow. 

"Wanna have fun with us?"

"Oh! No, um. I'm looking for someone."

She snorts. "Good luck with that."

Namjoon is so busy trying not to be tramped to death that he does not notice the man walking right in front of him. Until he crashes into him. 

"Woah, sorry!" 

He gets a good look at the man. His dyed grey hair is a mess, his eyes tired. He wears a loosely buttoned flannel and clutches a beer bottle in one hand. Namjoon remembers him from his first night. It's Yoongi.

"I know you from somewhere," Yoongi slurs. "Tucker's...Seokjin's friend, huh?"

"Yeah. You know where to find him?"

Yoongi rolls his eyes. "Why would I know that?" He starts to walk away. 

"You're his friend, aren't you?" Namjoon calls after him."

He stops. " _Was_ a friend."

"Has he been here?"

"Nope." He sees the despondent look on Namjoon's face and smirks. He raises his bottle in a mock toast. "You too, huh?"

Yoongi watches as Namjoon's gaze drops to the floor. Even in a drunken stupor, he feels a twinge of sympathy. 

"Try a different time. Seen him in '80. Mid '90s. '02 one time. I mean, hey. He's worth a shot, right?"

He raises the bottle once more. Namjoon waves and turns his back on him. It isn't over yet. 

_One Week Later_

Tucker's is the same, yet somehow nothing like it used to be. The music is different, for one. All the latest hits from 1980. The video games changed, but the people playing them have not. 

Namjoon, leaning against a Pac-Man machine, realizes that Seokjin is nowhere to be found. Not on the dance floor, by the bar. He wants to spend the rest of his night alone if he can't see Seokjin, but someone has other plans. The woman from his first night, the video game fanatic, perks up when she sees him. 

"Hey." She leans on the machine next to him. "Golden age, am I right?"

"Yeah..." He scans the crowd again. 

She coughs. "Do you want to play, or...?"

"Sorry. Looking for someone." He walks away. 

"Oh...okay. Maybe next time?"

_One Week Later_

One look at Tucker's and it's obvious Seokjin is not there. Namjoon settles on searching the streets. He walks by a Sony Television in the window shop. It's advertising the latest '96 Ford Contour. People pass by him without paying him any mind. Like he's not even there at all. 

He finds himself at Seokjin's home. The door is locked, the windows dark. Seaside wind roars in his ears. It threatens to engulf him. 

"Seokjin!" He screams until his voice is hoarse. He can barely be heard over the howling wind. " _Seokjin_!"

Nothing. No one. Not a trace. 

_One Week Later_

Namjoon passes by another line of televisions in a shop window. He does not know what hard hitting news 2002 has to offer today, but he does not care. Into Tucker's he goes. 

He sees him. 

It's Seokjin, it's him, he's there, he's _alive_ -thank goodness. And he seems to be doing well. He's playing Dance Dance Revolution with the woman from before. He's flushed pink from the workout. His platform boots stomp on the pads with every perfect hit, and his dark green jacket shimmers from the light of the club. The woman besides him keeps the pace, and it's _fun._ They're having fun. 

And they've got the high score. They laugh and exchange a high five. Seokjin's grinning from ear to ear. 

Then he sees Namjoon. His expression darkens. He places a hand on the woman's shoulder. 

"I'll be back," he tells her. "Bathroom."

Before he can slam the bathroom door in Namjoon's face, Namjoon catches it. He sees Seokjin, red faced, glaring. Slightly shaken. 

"What are you doing here?" He demands. 

"I could ask you the same thing." It is difficult for Namjoon to keep his voice steady. "I was looking for you. Where did you go?"

Seokjin looks everywhere but Namjoon's eyes. 

"Needed a change of music."

"How the hell is _this_ your era?" Namjoon scowls. "You hid from me!"

Now Seokjin looks at him. "One-I did not. Two-I owe you zero. And three....see points one and two!"

Seokjin makes a move to storm out of the bathroom, but Namjoon stands in his path. 

"It's not about who owes who, it's about manners."

Seokjin scoffs. 

"You don't know who I am. You don't know what this means." Namjoon's hands shake. His throat is dry, and _goddammit Seokjin you will not leave me like this._

Seokjin looks at him incredulously. " _This_ ," he gestures around. "Means fun. At least it should. And this, us, what we're doing? It's not fun. Got it? This is not fun."

Before he can hold it in, a tear slides down Namjoon's cheek. Seokjin stops glaring. 

"Okay. Look. Don't-don't do that."

"...So you don't feel bad?"

Namjoon wants him to do something. Anything. To cup his hand around his cheek. It might mean nothing to Seokjin, but it's everything to him. How can he stand there like none of it matters?

"Maybe you should feel bad. Or at least feel something."

Namjoon spins on his heel. He cannot stand this a second longer. As soon as he's gone, Seokjin throws himself against the wall and groans. He barely understands what he's feeling, but he knows he's feeling too much. He hates it. It was never supposed to be like this. God, why can't he see-?!

He slams his fist into the mirror. It shatters onto his hand. Glass shards fly out. A great big crack appears down the center. 

Seokjin looks down at his fist. No blood. Not even a bruise. 

The mirror is together, untouched and unharmed. 

The night air is warm tonight. It would be a breath of fresh air to Seokjin if his mind was not elsewhere. He slams open the door to Tucker's. No sign of Namjoon. Was this what Namjoon went through the past few weeks? He almost feels bad. It's worse because Namjoon is still new here. He might have pulled some stupid shit and it would be all his fault. He runs up to a couple standing by the sidewalk. 

"Hey, you two seen a guy, mid-twenties, blonde hair, glasses?"

The girl just points upwards behind him. Sure enough, he's up on the roof of Tucker's, his legs dangling over the edge. Seokjin swears under his breath. He climbs up the club's fire escape. Seokjin pulls off his boots and sits besides Namjoon. He doesn't even look up. 

"Namjoon, please tell me you have your pain slider set to zero."

"Think so." His voice is monotone. 

"Good. Okay, listen-"

He cuts him off and points down at the road. The people. 

"How many of them are dead?" He asks. "What percentage?"

"As in, full timers?" A shrug. "Eighty? Eighty-five."

Namjoon does not respond. 

"Namjoon. I'm sorry-"

"I'm not going to jump."

"I know. I'm sorry, it's just-in the time I've been here-" he sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. "I'm just visiting, you know? And it's-I don't want to...I said I wouldn't-I dunno-'do'...feelings." His eyes meet Namjoon's. They're glistening, and his heart breaks. "You freaked me out. 

To both their surprise, Seokjin takes his hand. 

"I don't want to _like_ anyone. So you've been..." the laugh that's like music to Namjoon's ears is gentle. "Just totally fucking inconvenient. Is that-I mean-"

The words tumble from Seokjin. They've been there within him all this time, but he's never dared speak them. That would make it real. 

"I don't know how _long_ there is, and I can't-I-I wasn't prepared for this, for you, for wanting something so-"

Namjoon takes Seokjin's face in his hand and kisses him like he can melt every bit of his pain away. He does not need to say another word. It's real. 

**********

At his beachside home, Seokjin sits on the balcony that overlooks the sea. He smokes a cigarette-he'd been trying to quit for years, but right now, he doesn't have it in him to care-and blows a cloud of grey into the wind. He's wearing Namjoon's white button up shirt. It's big on him, and the buttons are done out of place. He took it from the bed without thinking, since he just wanted something to cover himself up with. Namjoon didn't mind. But now, with his head clearer, he blushes at what that means. Taking someone's shirt...it was very much...something a couple did. It's too much. And yet not enough. 

Namjoon appears next to him with a thick black blanket wrapped around himself. He sits down and leans against him. Seokjin's sure his heart will burst. 

"Can't believe I'm getting married next week," he finally says. 

"Next _week_? To 'Grace'? You're really going through with that?"

"I have to."

"For real?"

"She really is a good person. I mean, my family doesn't approve, but they can't stop us." He pauses, and a wave crashes onto the shore. "I know she pities me. That pisses me off, and it's not _fair_..."

Seokjin kisses his cheek. "Shhh..."

Namjoon leans closer into him. 

"Back on the roof, you said you 'didn't know how long there is'. What was that?"

Seokjin freezes. No one in San Junipero knows what that means. He intended to keep it that way. But for Namjoon, he can make an exception. He's been the exception to a lot of things. 

"They tell me three months. It spread basically everywhere." He takes a drag on his cigarette. "They said three months six months ago, so like...what do they know?"

Seokjin eyes his cigarette with disgust. "Doesn't even taste like anything."

"So," Namjoon kisses the top of his head. "You're going to stay here? Pass over, go full time?"

"Nope. When I'm done, I am done."

"But that's...I mean...why?"

"Rosalie." His voice is so soft Namjoon can barely hear it over the waves. "That's-my wife's name was Rosalie-she died just two years ago. She had the chance to pass over to San Junipero. Didn't take it. Didn't want to."

Namjoon can hardly believe it. "Why wouldn't anyone take it?"

"She-we both-she had her viewpoints. There were things she believed in, and things she didn't. This place was one of them. Wouldn't even take the trial run."

"Shit. I wasn't so sure I wanted to try it at first, but like-without this place, I would have _never_ met anyone like you."

The corner of Seokjin's mouth turns up. He rolls his eyes. "You could have-"

"I wouldn't-"

"We could've met outside all of this."

"You would not have got me at all. At. All. If you met me, like, _really_ met me, you would not like me."

"Try me."

"You wouldn't-wouldn't spend time with me, or-"

"Namjoon. Try me."

How can he say no to Seokjin? But doubt still lives in him. He fears if he knows, everything will be unraveled. 

"There's no point. You're probably too far."

"Come on," urges Seokjin, "I 'showed you mine'. I'll just look you up if you don't tell me."

"Santa Rosa, California."

"That's nothing. I like to travel when they let me." He winks. "For you, I'll make them let me."

Namjoon shakes his head. "I don't want you to. I don't want you to see-" his voice breaks. "I'm scared."

"And I'm dying."

Seokjin cups his cheek in his hand. It's not a goodbye. They don't know what it is. But to Namjoon, it means everything. 

"I am dying. Whatever you are, it can't scare me."

He kisses Namjoon so gently he could cry. 

"Let me visit. I wanna say hi."

He slowly, almost imperceptibly, nods. 

Back in the bedroom, the clock turns to midnight. 

_The Next Day_

San Junipero may give Seokjin his youth, but no world can ever take his spirit. Even in his late seventies, he is both the delight and annoyance to the nursing home staff. Because while he tells the best jokes and stories in the place, the truth was that what Seokjin wanted, Seokjin got. 

So despite protests ("Mr. Kim, please consider your health!") Seokjin is on his way to meet Namjoon the very same day he requests it. 

The hospital is sleek and modern, equipped with all the latest tech. Then again, that's how most buildings are nowadays. It's far from Seokjin's favorite aesthetic, but it does make a place look clean-which he supposes is how a hospital wants to appear. Too clean, in his opinion. Sterile and bleak. 

The retirement home staff member, Jimin, holds a hand out to him. He takes it graciously. 

A kindly looking doctor rushes over to the pair the moment she sees them walk through the door. She shakes his hand. 

"You must be Seokjin."

"I must be," he replies with a twinkle in his eye. 

"He's waiting for you."

Namjoon's room is empty. Unless one counts the constant beep from monitors and machines-the two things that keep him alive. Namjoon lies motionless on a white hospital bed, his tired eyes glassy and unblinking. Seokjin realizes with a pang that he is not wearing his glasses. His chest rises and falls along with the puffs of a breathing tube. Seokjin wonders what Namjoon was so afraid of. 

"He won't be able to physically respond in any way, but he can hear you," the doctor informs him. "I'll give you some privacy."

For a moment, Seokjin is unsure what to do next. He's not afraid. It's still Namjoon, after all. But Namjoon, though strong in spirit, is fragile. He worries that one move will break him. 

He sits next to him on the bed. Seokjin takes Namjoon's wrinkled hand in his. 

"Hi, stupid." He squeezes his hand. "It's good to see you."

Seokjin runs his fingers through Namjoon's thinning grey hair and kisses his forehead. 

Some time later, Seokjin walks down the hospital with his attendant. Jimin, always by his side, is a kind soul. He must be kind to put up with his antics so much. 

"Excuse me! Hold on-!"

Running after them, slightly out of breath, is a woman with thick brown curls and a blue nurse's uniform. She races up to him and sticks out her hand. 

"Hi, uh. Is this Seokjin?"

He raises his eyebrows and takes her hand. "It is indeed."

"Oh, well. I'm Grace."

Seokjin falters. "Hold on. _You're_ Grace?"

"That I am."

"Well holy shit."

"I think it's great of you to come visit him," she continues, "before he passes over. I mean, his folks don't even visit anymore."

His eyes widen. "He-he's passing over-? But...when?"

"That's...let's grab a coffee."

In the hospital cafeteria, Grace offers Seokjin a sympathetic gaze over her styrofoam cup. Seokjin does not need her pity. He feels bad that she even needs to offer it. At the same time, he appreciates the kindness. He needs as much of that as he can get. 

"He didn't tell you?" asks Grace. 

"No. No, he did not. He said he was just visiting."

"Well...more like sampling the trial version. See, I've only known him for the past three years. He told you how he's quadriplegic? And how long he's been that way?"

One look at Seokjin's face gives Grace her answer. 

"So one night when he's twenty one, he comes out to his folks. They're, let's say, 'uptight' about it. Tell him they don't want a gay son, it's not natural, etc." She sighs. "They fight, he gets in his car, runs it off the road. Boom."

Seokjin puts a hand over his mouth. "When he was twenty one?"

"More than forty years back. It's basically been his whole life. So the whole San Junipero system has been like, a huge deal for him. Course, until he passes over, goes permanent, he's got the five hour weekly limit-but I guess you have the same."

Seokjin nods. "They ration it out. Won't trust us with more."

"I mean, you go crazy if you have too much. You disassociate from your body, your mind..."

"Right. 'Immersive Nostalgia Therapy'. Helps with alzheimer's, they say. But," he winks, "my mind's as sharp as any."

Grace toasts him. "Small mercies."

Seokjin cannot keep himself from mentioning it any longer. 

"So, Grace. This marriage?"

She heaves a sigh. "State's got a triple lockdown on euthanasia cases. You have to have a doctor sign off, the patient, and a family member. Stops people from passing over just because they prefer San Junipero."

"Oh, of course. But who'd want to leave _this_ wonder behind?"

"Heh. Anywho, Namjoon's family, right? Big time religious, and they won't even come to see him. Won't sign off on it either."

"But a spouse can override that. Hence the wedding bells."

"You got it. We've got a pastor coming in tomorrow, then he's scheduled to pass that same afternoon."

Seokjin considers her words. "'Scheduled to pass', hm? Let's just call it dying."

"If you _can_ call it dying."

"Will you wear a dress?"

"Oh no," she laughs. "The ceremony's on my coffee break. I've never married, so I figured, what's the harm?"

Seokjin regards her. It's a speciality of his. 

"You're a good person."

Grace drains the last of her coffee and shrugs. 

"It's the least I can do, right?"

In that moment, Seokjin makes a choice. 

"Grace, do you think you could hook us up to the system now, just for a little while before he passes?"

"Erm...you can still see him afterwards. Once he's a full time member, it's no limits-"

"I know-but can you?"

"I don't know...we have to stick to that five hour cutoff."

"But you can bend that. On special occasions."

"Seriously, it's so tight that-"

"Night before his wedding. That's a special occasion."

"Seokjin..."

"I only need a little time."

Back in Namjoon's room, Jimin watches the door. It has to be quick. They'll all be in worlds of trouble if they're caught. But they're willing to risk it. Grace helps Seokjin into a chair and presses a white electronic chip into the side of his head. It's the same one Namjoon has. 

"You've got five minutes. No more."

Seokjin closes his eyes. 

When he opens them again, he's standing before his San Junipero home. He's young again, too. A clear endless sky spans above the ocean. He feels warm sand beneath his feet. 

Namjoon stands on the front porch. He's a little dazed, but he brightens once he sees Seokjin. 

"Hey, Namjoon! Over here!"

He runs over to him. They entwin their fingers together and walk along the sand. 

"I've never been here during the day," says Namjoon. "It's so warm."

"So...I spoke to Grace."

"I see."

"You're passing over tomorrow."

"Couple hours after the wedding." He looks around at the sky, the beach. The place that will soon be his. "So I guess I'll technically be honeymooning here forever. I'm sorry I never told you-"

Seokjin places a delicate finger over Namjoon's lips. 

"I'm going to say something crazy."

He drops down on one knee and holds Namjoon's hands. 

"Wanna marry me instead?"

Namjoon feels his face warm. His chest flutters. 

"Just-Grace seems nice, but-why not with someone you...have a connection with?"

Namjoon drops down, wraps his arms around his waist, and kisses him. 

"Yes." He's breathless. "I'll marry you."

************

It is a small, private ceremony. Seokjin would not have it any other way. He holds onto Namjoon's hand as tight as he can while a pastor reads for them. The guest list contains Grace and Jimin. And it's as perfect as any wedding can be. 

"...To be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold in sickness and in health, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer..."

It's finally time for him to pass. The doctor holds a syringe. She looks to Seokjin, who's stroking his husband's hair. He nods. It is time. 

Seokjin holds on for as long as he can before Grace pulls the sheet over Namjoon. 

He does not look back when he closes the hospital door. Jimin helps him to the vehicle. He catches Seokjin when he doubles over, heaving. 

"Seokjin-! Are you sure you're alright?" 

"I...I'm fine. I'd like to visit him. When we return."

**********

Namjoon walks along the front of Seokjin's home. San Junipero feels all the more real when it's his. The sand is warmer, the sky is so clear. It's real. 

A red Jeep pulls up to the front. Seokjin stands up in the driver's seat and waves. He's wearing a white suit and a veil. Namjoon can't help but smile, then laugh in delight, clapping his hands. The world before him is gone, but San Junipero is here. Seokjin is here.

Seokjin pretends to pout. "You didn't even dress up to see me? Lame."

Namjoon looks down at himself. He's wearing a black suit now, so he and Seokjin make the perfect pair. 

"Better?"

"Much."

He climbs in and they drive. The road is open. He can go wherever he wants now. No limits. He never has to feel trapped and alone ever again. 

The moon is high when they park the Jeep on an oceanside cliff. They can see all of San Junipero from this height. The lights of the town and the stars in the sky compete for the love of their world. Namjoon and Seokjin sit side by side on the hood of the car, Namjoon's hand resting uptop his. 

"It looks so real," marvels Namjoon. He raps the hood of the car. " _Feels_ so real."

He kisses Seokjin, then slides off the car. He spins around barefoot in the dirt, kicking up sand. He stretches out his arms as he twirls. Seokjin watches the spectacle, laughing. 

"What are you _doing_?"

"I love it! I just-"

He spins around once more and nearly loses his balance. He laughs as he steadies himself. 

"I love it."

"You've been here before."

"Yeah, but now I _live_ here."

He walks back to Seokjin and wraps his arms around his waist. 

"Be here with me."

Seokjin giggles. "I'm here with you now."

"That's not what I mean." He feels Seokjin tense beneath him. "Pass over. When it's your time, when you're ready. Pass over."

"Namjoon-"

"Stay here with me-"

"Can we just enjoy tonight?"

"Seokjin, it's ten to midnight. And after that, I have to wait a week to see you again."

"You know I'm just a visitor."

"For how long? A couple months? And then what?"

"We're not discussing this-"

Namjoon's voice threatens to break. "And if you leave, you're gone. _Gone._ If you stay here, you can have forever!"

"Forever?!" Seokjin turns away from him for a moment. "Who can even make sense of forever?"

"However long you want, then. You can remove yourself like _that_." He snaps his fingers for emphasis. "It's not a trap. It's-look at it!"

He spins around again, then raps the hood of the car once more. 

"Seriously, feel it!"

Seokjin hops off the ar and heads for the driver's seat, but Namjoon takes his arm and pulls him in. He holds Seokjin's hands against his face. 

"Don't go. It's real. This real. And so is this ring."

"Namjoon, you know it was just a gesture."

"You married me," he protests. 

"To help you pass over. As a kindness."

"Not so kind to leave."

Seokjin steps away. Namjoon walks after him. 

"I'm sorry," he pleads, "but I've got this chance. _We_ have this chance. I want to share it with you."

He's already on his way to the car. "I said I made my choice."

"What is it? You feel bad because your wife isn't here?"

He stops dead in his tracks.

"Don't."

"Well, that's _her_ choice. She _chose_ to turn this down."

"Please-"

"It's like she left you. I mean, she could have passed over here, but no. She left you."

Seokjin's whole body burns. He swallows hard. He's shaking, but Namjoon would have to touch him to know. He won't let him. 

"You have no idea what you're saying."

"You should be angry at her, not killing yourself with this guilt."

Namjoon reaches to take his hand, but he pulls away. 

"Get off me."

"You can't see it-what she did-" Namjoon struggles to make him see. To make him stay. "It was _selfish,_ actually-"

_Smack!_

Namjoon stares at him, shocked into silence. Seokjin's raised hand falls to his side. He can see him trembling now. His eyes well up. 

"Forty nine years." He's quiet at first. "I was with her for _forty nine years._ You can't _begin_ to imagine-you can't know-"

He's finally letting it out. After all this time. How _dare_ Namjoon stand there like he knows a single damn thing?

"The bond. The commitment. The boredom, the yearning, the laughter-the love of it, the fucking love. You just cannot _know."_ He steps closer. "Everything we sacrificed. The years I gave her, the years she gave me. Did you think to ask? Did it ever occur to you to ask?"

"....I-Seokjin-"

"We had a daughter. Alison. Always difficult, always beautiful. Died at thirty nine years old, bless her heart, and Rosalie and I, we felt that pain as _one._ You think you're the only person whose ever suffered, go fuck yourself," he spits. 

"I-I didn't know-"

Seokjin cuts him off. "Didn't think to. Y'know, when Rosalie was dying, she told me, when they offered her this, to pass over, pass through, serve eternity in this fucking graveyard you're so in love with-she said how can I?" He sobs. "How can I? When _she_ missed out, how can I? So she went."

Something inside him breaks. It's something he's been holding on to, because voicing it would bring it all to life. Even in this fucking burial ground, he made it real when he spoke it. 

"I wish I could believe she's with her now, they're together. But I don't. I believe they're nowhere. Like you said, gone. Just gone."

Namjoon makes a move to embrace him, but he shoves him back. 

"Don't even try. I pitied you, and that's the truth. I pitied you. And now you give me some sales pitch about how fucking peachy 'forever' could be..."

"I...Jin. I'm sorry."

Seokjin tenses at the name. There's only one person he's let call him that. And she's long gone. 

"You want to spend forever somewhere nothing matters? End up like Yoongi, all those...lost fucks at The Quagmire, trying anything to feel something? Be my guest. But I'm out. I'm gone."

He pushes Namjoon aside, slams the car door, and stomps his foot on the gas. Namjoon calls out an apology, but it's too late. He roars away leaving a cloud of dust, Namjoon, and all of San Junipero in his wake. 

Seokjin tears down the empty road. He jerks the wheel. Just ahead, a line of signs warn drivers of an upcoming drop. Seokjin narrows his eyes. 

He hits the gas. 

It all happens at once. The car crashes into the blockers. It screeches down a rocky dune. Glass shatters. Seokjin is hurled from the seat. He lands face forward on a merciless jagged rock. He hits it with an audible crack. 

He sits up. No pain. No blood. Nothing. 

A hand reaches down to him. 

It's Namjoon. Panting. Terrified. All for his sake. 

Seokjin reaches up to take his hand. 

Somewhere, the clock strikes midnight. 

Namjoon stands alone in the wreckage. 

******************

Seokjin awakens with a start. He's his old self again, collapsed into one of the nursing home's armchairs. Jimin sits a few feet away with his head down and eyes closed. 

_Namjoon reached for me._

Weeks pass. Seokjin thinks of him often. His sickness only grows worse. His coughing fits are sharp and lasting. Jimin is there to help him through, but they both know the truth. There is not much time. 

On his last evening, Seokjin stands on the balcony. It stands proud against the sunset in all its brilliant hues of violet and magenta. Funny how after all his years, tonight's is the most beautiful. 

"Well," he whispers. "Okay then."

Jimin meets him on the balcony. "Seokjin? What is it?"

"All things considered," he says, "I guess I'm ready."

"For what?" asks Jimin. 

"For the rest of it."

*************

San Junipero is a party town. 

That's what they call it. That's what they all call it, and you can ask anyone you like. And if you ask them _why_ they came here, that will be what they tell you. 

What they tell you may not be the truth. Some come for love. For hope. So many people go for a second chance. To find themselves, or perhaps escape. Whatever the reason, the people of San Junipero are always changing. But San Junipero stays the same. 

Namjoon came for a second chance. His life before the town was never his own. In San Junipero, he could be the person he was meant to be. In San Junipero, he was free. 

Seokjin hit the town for a different reason. He wanted to escape. A bit of fun to forget everything for some time, then never to return again. He never counted on such a change. 

He never expected to find himself back on San Junipero ground. Back in front of his home. 

In the other world, Seokjin's body rests with his wife and daughter. At peace. Together, at least, in this way. 

In San Junipero, he watches a red car drive down the side of the road. It stops in front of him. Namjoon is in the driver's seat. He's not wearing his usual frames, but a pair of sunglasses sits on his head. He opens the door for Seokjin and reaches his hand out. This time, he takes it. 

"Did you miss me?" Namjoon teases. 

Seokjin kisses him. 

"Just drive."

Namjoon hits the gas. They drive off together, all of San Junipero and forever before them. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Rollerblades into Ao3 a year later with Starbucks) So. Hey y'all. 
> 
> If you're new to my page, hey! Welcome! If you've read my stuff before, holy shit, thank you. And welcome back~! 
> 
> So, I took a bit of a break from Ao3 and fic writing, mostly because I've been writing other stories, like original fic. But I haven't stopped writing, and I'm hoping to get back into the groove of things and post more from here on out. My mental health has improved since last time (!!progress, babey!!) so that's pretty Lit if I do say so myself. 
> 
> My last fic, The Melody Home, is on a huge hiatus rn, but I'm hoping to pick it up in the future. And hopefully there'll be some one shots to write as well. It'll be interesting to see how my writing has changed. 
> 
> Anywho, thank you guys so much for reading!! San Junipero is pretty much my favorite episode of anything ever, so a Namjin AU was basically inevitable. It was very much self indulgent, but I hope you all enjoy. Comments and kudos are loved and appreciated. See you guys next time~!


End file.
